Matters of the Heart

 Returning To My First Love

My Testimony: A Journey of God's Mercy and Grace

1. Before God’s Restoration – The Broken Pieces

Before fully surrendering to God, my life was marked by struggles and distance from Him. Though I was raised in church and attended Sunday school, I never truly experienced God's Word in the way I do now. I drifted away from Him for over 25 years, believing I could manage life on my own. During this time, I faced many challenges that left me feeling empty, lost, and disconnected from the peace and purpose I longed for. Despite knowing about God's love, I didn’t fully grasp His mercy and grace in my own life.

2. The Turning Point – When God Called Me Back

      The moment I realized I needed to return to God was not dramatic but deeply personal. After watching The Chosen, the Scripture that spoke to me was Isaiah 43:1. But now, this is what the Lord says- he who created you. Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine,” I began to feel a strong pull toward Him, as if He were calling me back into His arms. Through prayer, reading the Bible, and reflecting on my life, I saw how He had protected and guided me even when I was far from Him. A specific Scripture that spoke to me was Lamentations 3:22-23: "Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His mercies never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness." I understood that His mercy had been with me all along, and He was waiting for me to return.

 3. The Healing Process – Surgery, Recovery, and Therapy

    I see this journey as a spiritual surgery—God is repairing my heart, removing what is broken, and healing wounds I had buried for years. This process has not been easy. It has required me to revisit dark areas of my past, places I had tried to forget. But instead of feeling overwhelmed, I have chosen to trust God to lead me through it. His grace is carrying me through each step of recovery, teaching me patience and dependence on Him. He is revealing truths in Scripture that I never saw before, showing me how His chosen people struggled, doubted, and yet were still deeply loved and redeemed. You see the heart is central to our relationship with God throughout Scripture, which represents the core of who we are, our thoughts, emotions, desires, and will. God calls us to surrender our hearts to Him completely because everything flows from the heart.

 4. Where I Am Now – Trusting in His Plan

Today, I am in a season of waiting and trusting in God's plan. I don’t yet see the full picture, but I know He is leading me. One of my greatest desires is to surrender my heart to God, I am asking Him to allow me to see people I connect with through God’s eyes. I also feel called to share my testimony so that others who have walked away from God, as I did, can find their way back. Though I am still in the process of healing, I trust that He will use my journey to encourage and uplift others. God’s mercy and grace have transformed my life. He has shown me that no matter how far we drift, He is always ready to restore, heal, and embrace us as His own. As I continue this journey, I hold on to Philippians 1:6: "Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." 

This is just the beginning, and I trust that in His perfect timing, He will reveal the full plan for my life.